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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29900514">without her</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/messofunfinishedthoughts/pseuds/messofunfinishedthoughts'>messofunfinishedthoughts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Eventual Adora/Catra (She-Ra), F/F, F/M, Good Parent Angella (She-Ra), Inspired by Music, Parent Micah (She-Ra), Queen Glimmer (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:33:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,868</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29900514</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/messofunfinishedthoughts/pseuds/messofunfinishedthoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection, firstly inspired by @marougemusic on tiktok.<br/>whether it's adora and catra struggling without each other, or angella accepting glimmer is growing up, or even sea hawk's despair at mermista being chipped, this collection covers a variety of character emotion in she-ra.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>'and i don't know who i am without her...'</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora &amp; Mara (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Angella &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra), Angella/Micah (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra), Entrapta &amp; Hordak (She-Ra), Glimmer &amp; Micah (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>without her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora couldn't sleep. Every time she shut her eyes, all she could see was Catra, her brown hair blowing in the murky air, her eyes narrowed...betrayed. The expression tore Adora apart, but she would never admit that. Showing any sign of weakness was not an option, not even in the Rebellion. Adora had a lot to do, she still had to prove herself to Glimmer's mom, the Queen of the Princesses. After her fault at the last war meeting, where she'd sat in Angella's husband's seat, Adora had some making up to do. She had other things she should be focusing on.<br/>
<br/>
However, all Adora could think of was Catra. Why hadn't she come with her? Catra had always been stubborn, sure, but Adora couldn't stand their divide. They were supposed to rule Etheria together, that was all they'd ever wanted...right? But now Catra stayed on a side that she had admitted was wrong. Catra wasn't a bad person, Adora knew that. She and Catra had been best friends since they were four years old. That was thirteen years of friendship, and Adora refused to believe that they could lose it because of a mix-up in morals. Catra knew the difference between right and wrong, so why hadn't she escaped with Adora?<br/>
<br/>
Adora knew that Catra feared Shadow Weaver, and she knew Shadow Weaver was one of the main reasons that Catra had tried to bring Adora back to the Horde. She'd said how Shadow Weaver was losing her mind in Adora's absence, and how it would be funny if the sorceress wasn't such a terrible person. But Shadow Weaver couldn't get them here. They'd be safe. Adora knew, just as most Horde soldiers did, that Shadow Weaver hadn't left the Fright Zone in years. Adora just couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Catra had refused to defect with her. What reason could she possibly have for staying with the Horde? She'd always hated the Fright Zone. Why stay?<br/>
<br/>
Adora sighs, accepting that her new friend insomnia is here to stay. The blonde kicks her legs out of bed, and strolls out onto the balcony, holding her cover around her for warmth. She perches on the balcony rails, and sighs. It was so peaceful here in Bright Moon, so different from that chaos of the Fright Zone. For her whole life, Adora had endured the loud whirring of machines as background noise as she tried to sleep. She didn't think she'd ever slept a whole night through, without waking up at least three times. Disturbed sleep was common in the Horde. Nobody ever won a war by sleeping.<br/>
<br/>
It was nice here, Adora supposed. The air was crisp and clean, the complete opposite to the suffocating smog that covered the Fright Zone. The Moonstone's magical aura combined with the light of the moons of Etheria to create a serene light that spread all over the grounds of Castle Bright Moon. That was another stark difference between Bright Moon and the Fright Zone. The Fright Zone was always dark; Adora had never seen sunlight until she'd been captured by Glimmer and Bow. The only background noise here in Bright Moon was the gentle lapping of the waterfalls both behind the castle, and in Adora's room.<br/>
<br/>
The blonde pulls her cover tighter around her as the cold air creates goose bumps along her skin. The blonde knows she shouldn't think it, but she wished that Catra was here for her to snuggle into. Cold nights in the Fright Zone weren't unheard of, but they usually only ever occurred in the winter. On those nights, Adora would ask Catra to come down from the bunk above. They both knew it was a show of weakness, and they also knew that Shadow Weaver would be furious if she found them huddled together. The sorceress had always despised their friendship. Neither Adora or Catra had ever knew why.<br/>
<br/>
Adora had found Catra when she was four, whilst she was wandering aimlessly around the Fright Zone. The young feline had been in an 'applesauce' box. Adora didn't really know what applesauce was, but she had concluded that it didn't really matter. What did matter was the sleeping feline girl in the box. As Adora had peered into the box, a pair of heterochromatic eyes peered back at her, filled with tears. Adora had been immediately saddened at the sight. As a four-year-old child, she had not understood what could cause someone this much upset. But now, thirteen years later, she could draw the conclusion that the Horde had destroyed Catra's home, tearing her from her family, and that is why Catra was so upset that day.<br/>
<br/>
Catra and Adora had grown up together, promising that, even at the end of the world, should that ever come, they would always be together. They'd <em>promised.</em> But that promise had been broken, hadn't it? Because now, as Adora sits on a balcony in the home of the Queen of the Princesses, someone who she and Catra had been raised to fight, Catra was back in the Fright Zone, probably alone. Catra had only really ever been friends with Adora. That was another reason that Adora couldn't understand why Catra had defected too.<br/>
<br/>
The blonde girl runs her eyes along the gardens of Bright Moon, and then back up at the Whispering Woods. She narrows her bluebell eyes. Could she...? No. It was stupid. But Adora did stupid quite well. For the next hour, Adora observes the movement of the guards, before going back into her room. She tiptoes around, pulling her clothes out of the wardrobe that Glimmer had helped move in yesterday. It was so weird for Adora to have her own space. For her whole life, she'd had to share her living space, her showering space, her practice space, everything. The only thing she'd ever willingly shared was her bed with Catra.<br/>
<br/>
Adora fastens her belt around her waist, and grabs her sword for precaution. She pulls her boots on, and goes to pull the door open. She peers out, noticing guards lining the corridors. Thinking about it, she shouldn't be surprised. Angella had strengthened protection of the castle since Adora had arrived. She hadn't done it as protection <em>against</em> Adora, but <em>for</em> Adora. If the Horde invaded Bright Moon trying to reclaim Adora, the castle would be well protected. However, tonight, it wouldn't be the Horde infiltrating Bright Moon. It was going to be Adora infiltrating the Fright Zone.<br/>
<br/>
She knew it was a stupid plan, not very well thought out, or developed. This was quite out of character for Adora, who usually lived by meticulous planning. But Catra had always been an anomaly in Adora's life, always being defiant and adventurous. The pair sneaking out of the Fright Zone together had been the start of this journey of revelation. Maybe Adora sneaking <em>into</em> the Fright Zone would be the journey coming full circle. She had to try and convince Catra again. She couldn't do this without her. So she's going to escape Bright Moon, venture through the Whispering Woods, sneak into the Fright Zone, and somehow get into the bunk room to find Catra. She's not really sure what will happen after that. But every plan starts somewhere, right?<br/>
<br/>
Adora peers over the balcony, inhaling deeply. It was a long way from the balcony to the castle grounds. Ah well. Adora unties her belt and secures it around a cylinder shaped part of the wall. She carefully balances her foot on the balcony railing, before jumping, her hands holding onto the belt. Her leg catches the wall, and rips her trousers, grazing her leg. Adora grits her teeth in pain, but continues to uneasily slide down the wall. This was not a smart plan.<br/>
<br/>
Once at the bottom, Adora tugs the belt back, unhooking it from the cylinder shaped concrete. She wraps it around her waist, securing the small wing shaped buckle, a symbol of her newfound Rebellion allegiance. Adora's heart pangs. In just over a week, her life has changed so much. This was all so new to her, the world outside the Horde's confinement, this feeling of loneliness. Adora knew she had the support of Glimmer and Bow, but they could never compare to Catra. Her feelings about Catra were still strong, but she supposed that came from thirteen years of friendship. She didn't really have another way to explain it.<br/>
<br/>
"Can we help you, She-Ra?" Adora whips around fast, her heart hammering in her chest. She's been bust.<br/>
"Uhm-" Adora cannot even comprehend an excuse. A Royal Guard, the Captain of the Guard, Adora thinks, stares down at her unimpressed.<br/>
"It's late. What are you doing out here?" Juliet asks bluntly.<br/>
"I-" Adora stammers.<br/>
"Well?" Juliet raises a brow.<br/>
"I need to see her." Adora suddenly bursts into tears, something which shocks both her and the Captain of the Guard.<br/>
"I just need to see her, I can't do this without her, I <em>need</em> her. Please, I have to fulfil my end of the promise. I can't just leave her there. I promised I'd look out for her. I promi-" Adora is now hyperventilating, and more guards are gathering. Juliet holds her arm out, indicating them to lower their weapons.<br/>
<br/>
"She-Ra...Adora, look at me. I don't know who or what you're talking about." Juliet says calmly.<br/>
"C-My best friend, from the Horde. Please just let me go see her, let me try one more time. We made a promise-"<br/>
"Listen to me. How you've got out here is beyond me. But you've got to go back to your chambers. No buts. If your friend has stayed, she has made her choice." Juliet states. Adora saddens. No, this couldn't be the end of their friendship...<br/>
"Look, I...ugh, I shouldn't be doing this, but I won't tell anyone this happened. Not the Queen, not Princess Glimmer or Bow. No one. And you mustn't tell them either. Do we have a deal?" Juliet asks. Adora looks at the ground, defeated. The words 'she has made her choice' still swim around her head.<br/>
"Fine. I won't say anything, as long as you don't." Adora says. Juliet nods.<br/>
"Guards, make sure she gets back to her room." Juliet orders, before walking away.<br/>
<br/>
Adora barely remembers the walk back to her room. She just remembers the aftermath. She remembers looking at that dumb sword over and over again. She remembers wishing Catra were here, so she could at least feel like herself. All Adora wants right now is the feeling of warmth only Catra had been able to give her. She just wants to be held in the same way that the sky holds the moon. But yet, here she is, alone in the night, craving something that she cannot have. Her plan had been foolish...she had been foolish, letting her wants overrule her role as the protector of Etheria. That was her assigned role now. Force Captain Adora was long gone, replaced with She-Ra, Princess of Power. Adora just hadn't realised how much she would lose in order to gain such a powerful destiny...a destiny without <em>her.</em><br/>
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